When my husband and I first got married I felt like I was going baby crazy. My 24th birthday was around the corner and all the sudden, even though I’m young, I felt old! I needed a baby and I needed one soon!
HE’S READY, WAIT A MINUTE! MAYBE I’M NOT!
About 9 months after we got married he told me he was ready for us to start trying. Wow….I wasn’t expecting that! Then I hit the brakes on the baby train big time and decided I needed to learn more about what I was “getting myself into.”
IGNORANCE IS BLISS
Now that I am constantly learning, reading and soaking up every bit of baby ridden information I feel less ready then ever! My mind is overwhelmed with nutrition, losing weight, vaccinations, circumcision, natural birth, epidurals….etc. There are soo many factors and most importantly right now they all seem of utmost importance especially since a being’s life is at stake here!
AM I SERIOUSLY STRESSING THIS BAD
Yes, I stress out a ton about having a baby….even though I am not even pregnant! Crazy right? Yeah kinda….But seriously there were several months back where I was literally losing sleep at night, and I kinda have to believe that my baby information overload had something to do with it.
MY CURRENT STATUS IN THE THINKING ABOUT TTC MADNESS
Well now I am blogging to channel it and hopefully be relate-able to some other crazys out there! And I am taking it one day at a time.
* Foto of friend’s little boy, by me.
As I think over and over about TTC and what that would mean for our lives I tend to get hung up on negative aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and having a newborn.
THE GLASS IS HALF FULL
What has really helped me as I look out countless blogs and vicariously live through women already in the stages of life mentioned above I have surprisingly found words of encouragement.
LABOR PAINS: I read on a forum that a woman while in labor tried to think of labor pains as “hugging her baby”
PREGNANCY PAINS: Particularly the discomfort most women feel towards the end of their pregnancy…I read on dearbaby.tumbler.com that she described carrying her baby Evie as:
“She’s safe and warm inside of me and I can nurture and protect her in a way that I will never be able to again once she is born…but these last 35 or so days have become increasingly precious to me. They are all that remain of this amazing journey she and I have taken together. Currently, we exist in the same breath and live from the same blood - and I am in no rush to end it.”
* Photo of a friend’s little boy, taken by me :)
Awwwwwww….Isn’t that SUPER sweet! What a great way to think of your child!
Today I worked out a chart of all my upcoming cycles and possible times we could TTC to get an idea of what that would look like for us:
As you can see I highlighted what I thought would be the best time to TTC.
Of course this is not set in stone but I just thought it was interesting to see what our possible “options” are. Obviously picking an exact month to get pregnant is impossible because that is dependent on many factors but it is still fun to “plan” and imagine.
I also thought it was important to know how long we would be “Newlyweds” for before the baby comes.
Being that I was only 23 when we got married we were not in a huge rush to get pregnant, and having the 1st year “alone” has been wonderful! I can only imagine the stress and adjustments of going through the first year of marriage while going through pregnancy and having a baby. I am truly glad we have chosen to not TTC yet because I feel that is part of what has made this 1st year of marriage more balanced.
In the next several months we will evaluate how we feel and take it from there. I read somewhere that you should TTC once you are certain you want a baby more times than not. I think that is good advice! Even I know that if I wait till I feel 100% prepared then I will never get TTC!
Just thinking about TTC…..makes me nervous. Pregnancy seams like a big unknown and labor seems really really scary! Still I have been trying to read up on it as much as possible to know what I am getting into whenever we decide we want to get into it.
BOOKS I HAVE READ:
On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo: People have very strong reactions to the principles he suggests in this book. I thought it has some helpful insights and like all parenting and baby advice I will take it with a grain of salt.
Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon: Eye opening and life changing book on nutrition. Really brings people back to what is good anad has worked for healthy people groups for centuries. Great section on foods for pregnancy mama, baby and commercial formula alternatives.
From the Hips by Odes & Morris: Very well illustrated and easy read. Has good info. A good alternative to the very bland “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”
What to Expect When You Are Expecting by Murkoff: I was expecting a lot more from this book. I went with it because I figured it was a no-brainer, but I was disappointed.
Belly Laughs & Baby Laughs by Jenny McCarthy: Easy reads filled with candid accounts on pregnancy and a new baby respectively.
Your Best Birth by Riki Lake: This book is a great place to get an idea of different options for labor and delivery what you can expect from maternal care. A wonderful read. I also watched the documentary “The Business of Being Born” which was very eye opening and was a wonderful complement to the book.
NOW READING:
The Baby Book by Dr Sears: Big on Attachment Parenting (AP) with lots and lots of info on all kinds of things baby.
* Picture taken by yours truly of Friend’s Little Boy
WANT TO READ:
Babyproofing Your Marriage by Cockrell
How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor by Mendelsohn
Active Birth by Balaskas
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Gaskin
Husband Coached Birth by Bradley
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Rosegg
For quite some time I have had a good idea of how I felt about having a career and starting a family. I have always known that my “career” would immediately and painlessly take the back burner once children came in the picture.
ON BEING A MOTHER
Personally I think that dedicating myself to be a mother is one of the most selfless things I could do and one of the most commendable. The act of selflessly pouring all your talents, abilities and capacity all for the benefit of another human being is a beautiful thing and a gift for everyone involved.
I hope that having children will help change me, and bring forth more positive attributes like being more selfless and more proactive in life in general.
SOCIETAL CONNOTATION
It bugs me that there is somewhat of a bad societal connotation around mothers, especially stay at home mothers. I feel like our society should embrace the act of mothers caring for their children and do their best to create a supportive environment where they can do so.
TO EACH HIS OWN
I understand that there are situations where mothers have to work…or simply do not want to stay home and care for their children. I believe that is their prerogative.
MY VISION
I see being a mother as being:
A NOURISHER: To provide my children with healthy meals and supplements to optimize their health.
AN EDUCATOR: Not only have I given serious thought to the notion of homeschooling my children one day but I also feel the obligation to teach my children Portuguese and Spanish with my husband’s help.
A COMFORTER: I feel a mother should be a source of refuge and love to her children.
A DISCIPLINARIAN: Consistent discipline is a wonderful gift a parent can give to their child because I feel it provides children with securing and boundaries, both which are essential to their formation.
* Picture by me of friend’s baby boy
I anxiously await all that lies ahead!
To learn: lately I have been interested in nutrition, pregnancy, babies, children, and photography
To change: my way of thinking, my body, my routine
To achieve: the lifelong goal of being balanced
